Two losses over the most recent rounds of the Internationale de Volley Ball Carnivale has assisted in putting the Mongrels back on course for their silver medal dreams.
Tonight the Mongrels will hope to repeat this form in an attempt to improve the end of season ratings by staging a dramatic comeback from low on the competition ladder.
This has been confirmed by Mongrels only naming five players to participate in this evening's game in front of a capacity crowd of 35,347 supporters at the Grammar Dome.
Bonky
Assistant Special Effects Specialist
Mongrels Evangelical Church
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Competitor Analysis
With rumours of the tri-title challenge between the ARL and NRL champions and the reigning Spiker Sports Tuesday night Mixed Volleyball A Grade Champions, the Mongrels, a secret competitor analysis session has been held in the video suite of the Mongrels training facilities on Brisbanes north side.
Players were in the process of team building exercises based on breaking the world record for the longest piece of fetucini and scoping the performance of players on the Broncos and Storm teams in order to build player profiles for identifying psychological weaknesses to be exploited when Franky was struck speechless. An unusual occurrence that deserves mentioning.
After the Storm scored first, all seemed lost as wagers placed on Hodges crossing the line first and a hefty Broncos winning margin seemed to slip away.
But true to form, the QLD side charged home and provided the Mongrels coaching staff with numerous material to exploit in a competitive situation.
Bonky
Acting Sports Marketing Adminstrative Assistant
Mongrels Sporting Enterprises
Players were in the process of team building exercises based on breaking the world record for the longest piece of fetucini and scoping the performance of players on the Broncos and Storm teams in order to build player profiles for identifying psychological weaknesses to be exploited when Franky was struck speechless. An unusual occurrence that deserves mentioning.
After the Storm scored first, all seemed lost as wagers placed on Hodges crossing the line first and a hefty Broncos winning margin seemed to slip away.
But true to form, the QLD side charged home and provided the Mongrels coaching staff with numerous material to exploit in a competitive situation.
Bonky
Acting Sports Marketing Adminstrative Assistant
Mongrels Sporting Enterprises
Friday, September 29, 2006
Mongrels double up
This week saw the Mongrels back up for a double header in standing in for the waning numbers of opponents.
Sources close to the Olympic Committee have hinted that a number of the Mongrels opponents in the international mixed volleyball grand prix championship titles have withdrawn from the competition for fear of being possessed by the infernal spirit that is rumoured to cause the self destructive, venomous diatribe to spew forth during matches.
No-shows are now so frequent that Mongrels are now having sit in for other teams as well as try and recruit opponents from outside the league.
Rumours abound of a three way title series where the Mongrels will play against the winners of the NRL and AFL grand finals.
This was not enough to dampen the spirits of the mongrels with their display of fine Indoor Cricket warmup capabilities before hitting the 55 point mark at half time in their match against a patchwork opponent in Borderline Insanity.
Robbo started with her usual flurry of net finding attack shots whilst Bonky chimed in with a couple of wall balls.
The Mongrels switched off in the second half seemingly cheating anyone who had put money on a 100+ outcome. This had nothing to do with the switch in the setting regime. Ah well there is always next weeks game against AIS.
Bonky
Chief Voodoo Priest
Mongrels Pagan Ritual Centre
Sources close to the Olympic Committee have hinted that a number of the Mongrels opponents in the international mixed volleyball grand prix championship titles have withdrawn from the competition for fear of being possessed by the infernal spirit that is rumoured to cause the self destructive, venomous diatribe to spew forth during matches.
No-shows are now so frequent that Mongrels are now having sit in for other teams as well as try and recruit opponents from outside the league.
Rumours abound of a three way title series where the Mongrels will play against the winners of the NRL and AFL grand finals.
This was not enough to dampen the spirits of the mongrels with their display of fine Indoor Cricket warmup capabilities before hitting the 55 point mark at half time in their match against a patchwork opponent in Borderline Insanity.
Robbo started with her usual flurry of net finding attack shots whilst Bonky chimed in with a couple of wall balls.
The Mongrels switched off in the second half seemingly cheating anyone who had put money on a 100+ outcome. This had nothing to do with the switch in the setting regime. Ah well there is always next weeks game against AIS.
Bonky
Chief Voodoo Priest
Mongrels Pagan Ritual Centre
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Mongrels back on track
After a record undefeated streak the Mongrels have finally been able to find form for achieving their Silver Medal dreams in going down 62-60 to the White Tigers last night in front of a capacity crowd at the Grammar Dome.
Bonky took it upon himslef to personally self destruct the performance of the Mongrels to get the team back on track for Silver Medal success.
After last seasons dissapointing undefeated, Gold Medal winning effort, the mongrels have changed tact and plan on intentionally loosing one game in every three.
The Mongrel's performance was enhanced by the no-show of Pussa to allow the team to try a different missing man formation.
At one stage the White Tigers led by 17 points but the Mongrels were able to make it look a lot closer so suspicion would not be drawn to their large wagers on their opponents.
A freak accident in warm up insured that Franky was fired up after a wayward torpedo punt 'accidentally' smashed her in the face. The look of death took it's toll in putting Cookie and Blatchy off their game for the first half.
It is unknown at this stage if Pussa will be making a retunr to the starting line up after some feeble excuse relating to 'saving the wolrd one bust at a time'.
One can only hope that the Mongrels can now get into the zone and concentrate on achieving the high level of offensive behaviour to teammates that we all know and love.
Bonky
Senior Sports Psychologist
Mongrels Sports Medicine Clinic
Bonky took it upon himslef to personally self destruct the performance of the Mongrels to get the team back on track for Silver Medal success.
After last seasons dissapointing undefeated, Gold Medal winning effort, the mongrels have changed tact and plan on intentionally loosing one game in every three.
The Mongrel's performance was enhanced by the no-show of Pussa to allow the team to try a different missing man formation.
At one stage the White Tigers led by 17 points but the Mongrels were able to make it look a lot closer so suspicion would not be drawn to their large wagers on their opponents.
A freak accident in warm up insured that Franky was fired up after a wayward torpedo punt 'accidentally' smashed her in the face. The look of death took it's toll in putting Cookie and Blatchy off their game for the first half.
It is unknown at this stage if Pussa will be making a retunr to the starting line up after some feeble excuse relating to 'saving the wolrd one bust at a time'.
One can only hope that the Mongrels can now get into the zone and concentrate on achieving the high level of offensive behaviour to teammates that we all know and love.
Bonky
Senior Sports Psychologist
Mongrels Sports Medicine Clinic
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
New signing shines
All and sundry were suprised at the latest outing of the Mongrels when it was revealed that the new signing is not a rumoured dancing monkey but instead they have opted to select from the homeland of volleyball in Queensland by picking a recent import returned from the UK and hailing from Bundaberg.
Bec was worried that the standard of her game may not reach the dizzying heights expected from the Mongrels die-hard fans and was complaining of sore arms after her warmup.
However after her first attacking play cleany found the net and dropped at her feet the tention was released and she chimmed in with self and peer abuse to join the Mongrels flock.
All that is left is the annointing of a new nickname and she will join Pussa, Blatchy, Lisa, Cookie, Franky and Bonky in the Mongrels Hall of Fame.
Not too much attention was payed as to who the Mongrels were playing and we believe a victory was achieved to taking their unbeaten record to 22 games.
It is still to be seen if this standard of play can be continued throughout this season and beyond.
Bonky
Senior Recruitement Advisor
Mongrels Temp Agency
Bec was worried that the standard of her game may not reach the dizzying heights expected from the Mongrels die-hard fans and was complaining of sore arms after her warmup.
However after her first attacking play cleany found the net and dropped at her feet the tention was released and she chimmed in with self and peer abuse to join the Mongrels flock.
All that is left is the annointing of a new nickname and she will join Pussa, Blatchy, Lisa, Cookie, Franky and Bonky in the Mongrels Hall of Fame.
Not too much attention was payed as to who the Mongrels were playing and we believe a victory was achieved to taking their unbeaten record to 22 games.
It is still to be seen if this standard of play can be continued throughout this season and beyond.
Bonky
Senior Recruitement Advisor
Mongrels Temp Agency
Rumoured simian signing
---STOP PRESS---STOP PRESS---STOP PRESS---
Scouts for the Mongrels team were sighted at the Western Plains Zoo in Dubbo interviewing several members of simian descendancy.
These included a Gibbon, several Orangutan, a Chimpanzee, two Baboons and a Lemur.
Mystery still shrouds the announcement of the phantom sixth member of the team for next weeks match.
Bonky
Intern Reporter
Dubbo Daily Express Mail Review Herald Times Post News
Scouts for the Mongrels team were sighted at the Western Plains Zoo in Dubbo interviewing several members of simian descendancy.
These included a Gibbon, several Orangutan, a Chimpanzee, two Baboons and a Lemur.
Mystery still shrouds the announcement of the phantom sixth member of the team for next weeks match.
Bonky
Intern Reporter
Dubbo Daily Express Mail Review Herald Times Post News
Allstar 6 trounced
The start of season 3 2006 has seen the formation of a super team to try and break the Mongrels run of over 20 matches undefeated.
The all star team disguised as Dig Deep started strongly and tried to intimidate the Mongrels defence with a strong display of hitting but, as we have seen before. the old, cunning and stubborn will eventually win out over the young, inexperienced overconfident.
Once the Mongrels got into full swing with their self focussed degredation they were able to completely block out their opponents both in thought and action.
"The concerted attempt to break the long standing record of the Mongrels team can only be seen as a waste of time and effort which could have been better spent on charity work." came a comment form the Mongrels bench.
However the press conference heard a different story from the players. "We thoroughly enjoyed the record breaking attempt from the all star team tonight. This gave us a rare opportunity to really let rip on ourselves and gain further depths of self-esteem breaking abuse." was the thoughts from the Captain.
This now puts the Mongrels in the unenviable position as the team to beat in the competition. Not a familiar position for all team members. With this in mind there has been rumour of a reshuffle in the line up to cater for the amount of hate mail the team has been receiving.
Scouts are currently interviewing in zoo & circus throughout the country in order to find a suitable replacement for Lisa.
Next week sees the team return with a new line up and questionable motivation.
Stay tuned.
Bonky
Trainee Sports Psychologist
Queensland Academy of Sport
The all star team disguised as Dig Deep started strongly and tried to intimidate the Mongrels defence with a strong display of hitting but, as we have seen before. the old, cunning and stubborn will eventually win out over the young, inexperienced overconfident.
Once the Mongrels got into full swing with their self focussed degredation they were able to completely block out their opponents both in thought and action.
"The concerted attempt to break the long standing record of the Mongrels team can only be seen as a waste of time and effort which could have been better spent on charity work." came a comment form the Mongrels bench.
However the press conference heard a different story from the players. "We thoroughly enjoyed the record breaking attempt from the all star team tonight. This gave us a rare opportunity to really let rip on ourselves and gain further depths of self-esteem breaking abuse." was the thoughts from the Captain.
This now puts the Mongrels in the unenviable position as the team to beat in the competition. Not a familiar position for all team members. With this in mind there has been rumour of a reshuffle in the line up to cater for the amount of hate mail the team has been receiving.
Scouts are currently interviewing in zoo & circus throughout the country in order to find a suitable replacement for Lisa.
Next week sees the team return with a new line up and questionable motivation.
Stay tuned.
Bonky
Trainee Sports Psychologist
Queensland Academy of Sport
Mongrels fail again
The Mongrels have again failed to achieve their goal of a silver medal in the international mixed volleyball grand prix championship titles hosted at the Grammar Dome for season 2 2006.
Despite their best efforts, the Mongrels stumbled through the season undefeated to fall over the line and unfortunately take the gold medal.
Mongrels management are still trying to make the most of a terrible performance, negotiating with sponsors to grant part of promised silver medal incentives in order to keep the club viable for another season.
The Mongrels players seem to have done all right with them having an each way bet on the final themselves.
In the mean time the off season will prove extra short with the team backing up the following week.
Well done and here is hoping for some silverware next season.
Bonky
President
Mongrels Supporter Club
Despite their best efforts, the Mongrels stumbled through the season undefeated to fall over the line and unfortunately take the gold medal.
Mongrels management are still trying to make the most of a terrible performance, negotiating with sponsors to grant part of promised silver medal incentives in order to keep the club viable for another season.
The Mongrels players seem to have done all right with them having an each way bet on the final themselves.
In the mean time the off season will prove extra short with the team backing up the following week.
Well done and here is hoping for some silverware next season.
Bonky
President
Mongrels Supporter Club
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Galah Dinner for Charity
In order to celebrate the 34th Anniversary of the hatching of Bonky a galah dinner was hosted by the Mongrels Club at the prestigious Crushers Leaguess Club.
No expense was spared in providing imported frozen minature seafood (including Okinawan Mini Oysters) and the rousing local entertainers who had recently finished their extended stays in institutions.
One must say that the television advertising for the all you can eat seafood buffet does not do it justice. Tips for punters: Get there early and take your icecream in bulk.
Onwards and outwards.
Bonky
Sous Chef
Crushers Leagues Club
No expense was spared in providing imported frozen minature seafood (including Okinawan Mini Oysters) and the rousing local entertainers who had recently finished their extended stays in institutions.
One must say that the television advertising for the all you can eat seafood buffet does not do it justice. Tips for punters: Get there early and take your icecream in bulk.
Onwards and outwards.
Bonky
Sous Chef
Crushers Leagues Club
Finals Disappointment
The grand final for season one of 2006 has ended in a dissapointing victory for the Mongrels.
The Mongrels were hopeful that their mediocre performances throughout the season had put them in a commanding position to claim the silver medal.
What the mongrels had not factored into their strategy was their opponents outsmarting their efforts to loose the match.
Try though they might the Mongrels were thwarted at every turn. Pussa still found extreme difficulty in hitting the floor cleanly with a number of ricochets off both net and opponent.
In the end the Mongrels were clearly outclassed by their opponents and took the victory in a dissapointingly lacklustre effort.
Onto the next season.
Bonky
Australian Army Press Core
The Mongrels were hopeful that their mediocre performances throughout the season had put them in a commanding position to claim the silver medal.
What the mongrels had not factored into their strategy was their opponents outsmarting their efforts to loose the match.
Try though they might the Mongrels were thwarted at every turn. Pussa still found extreme difficulty in hitting the floor cleanly with a number of ricochets off both net and opponent.
In the end the Mongrels were clearly outclassed by their opponents and took the victory in a dissapointingly lacklustre effort.
Onto the next season.
Bonky
Australian Army Press Core
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Guns and Hoses
It is amazing what happens when you Google your name.
Guns & Hoses - a previous incarnation of the Mongrels.
Bonky
Appearing for the Defence
Guns & Hoses - a previous incarnation of the Mongrels.
Bonky
Appearing for the Defence
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Mongrels through to grand final
It has come to the pointy end of the season and Mongrels find themselves in the drivers seat to take the silver medal next week at the Grammar Dome.
A brilliant display of ordinary volleyball in the semi-final on Tuesday night saw the Mongrels edge to a victory over the White Tigers.
With Lisa Simpson recently recovering from her harrowing mine cave in rescue, the Mongrels were able to provide a full line up for this knockout grudge match in front of the 37,102 strong crowd.
Emotions were tense as during warm up Cookie produced a piece of shrapnel from his chest that was sustained from a freak incident in the Australian Indoor Cricket Champioships.
After a major botched call by the referee who believed Blatchy on a half hearted 'in' call for a ball that landed 3 ft out, Mongrels played a confident game and got one back by convincing the referee and signally out on a ball that landed well in near the attack line.
Mongrels management are still trying to figure out which team they will face in the final as they have played the same players under pseudonyms for other teams throughout the season.
The final is a sell out with scalpers being cracked down on by a special Qld Police Task Force called Operation Ripoff. If you are offered tickets from an unauthorised reseller you are asked to give them a kick in the teeth, steal all their money and tickets and drop them off to your nearest police station.
Bonky
Senior Chief Inspector
Operation Ripoff Task Force
A brilliant display of ordinary volleyball in the semi-final on Tuesday night saw the Mongrels edge to a victory over the White Tigers.
With Lisa Simpson recently recovering from her harrowing mine cave in rescue, the Mongrels were able to provide a full line up for this knockout grudge match in front of the 37,102 strong crowd.
Emotions were tense as during warm up Cookie produced a piece of shrapnel from his chest that was sustained from a freak incident in the Australian Indoor Cricket Champioships.
After a major botched call by the referee who believed Blatchy on a half hearted 'in' call for a ball that landed 3 ft out, Mongrels played a confident game and got one back by convincing the referee and signally out on a ball that landed well in near the attack line.
Mongrels management are still trying to figure out which team they will face in the final as they have played the same players under pseudonyms for other teams throughout the season.
The final is a sell out with scalpers being cracked down on by a special Qld Police Task Force called Operation Ripoff. If you are offered tickets from an unauthorised reseller you are asked to give them a kick in the teeth, steal all their money and tickets and drop them off to your nearest police station.
Bonky
Senior Chief Inspector
Operation Ripoff Task Force
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Mongrels aim for ton
After a formidable battle last week in a fast paced second half effort to achieve 90 points, Mongrels have come out this week pointing to the boundary and claiming their form is good enough to break the ton (100 points) in this weeks match against their bottom of the table opponents.
Last weeks effort saw the Mongrels again employ the missing man formation to account for the mysterious disappearance of Lisa Simpson from the lineup. Sources close to the player say she has contracted a rare strain of bird flu whilst her management are claiming it was just some dodgy KFC.
KFC's legal team have been in contact with Mongrels team management and have threatened to drop their sponsorship of the team unless the comments are retracted.
Mongrels team management have stated that "KFC had better read their contract, in particular sub-paragraph iv of Appendix M, which outlines the exit penalties for the Platinum Fast Food Category Sponsorship Agreement before they start mentioning pulling the pin."
Meanwhile a spirited performance last week saw the Mongrels move to a focussed attack through the middle supported by high quality passing and a number of 5 point service rotations.
Pussa was warned several times by the coaching staff and fellow players to restrict his underhanded handover tactics which have seen him penalised on several occassions throughout the season.
Team critics believe it stems from his recent involvement with the Over 40's Latvian Womens Handball team during a joint training camp in the Gold Coast Hinterland in March.
Mongrels players have been undertaking diligent volunteer work with worthy causes over the past few weeks, mainly to serve several community service orders from the local magistrate.
This has seen the creation of the Mongrels Mongrels Care Charity to take care of our canine friends and their families in times of need. Our hearts and thoughts go out to those at this time.
Team Management have commented that the rumours of the Mongrels Mongrels Care Charity being set up as a tax dodge to assist with salary cap pressures is "Total Bollocks!"
Tonights match at the 32,031 seat Grammar Dome has been sold out for three weeks but is available on pay-per-view.
Bonky
Canine Vetrinarian Philanthropist
Mongrels Mongrels Care Charity
Last weeks effort saw the Mongrels again employ the missing man formation to account for the mysterious disappearance of Lisa Simpson from the lineup. Sources close to the player say she has contracted a rare strain of bird flu whilst her management are claiming it was just some dodgy KFC.
KFC's legal team have been in contact with Mongrels team management and have threatened to drop their sponsorship of the team unless the comments are retracted.
Mongrels team management have stated that "KFC had better read their contract, in particular sub-paragraph iv of Appendix M, which outlines the exit penalties for the Platinum Fast Food Category Sponsorship Agreement before they start mentioning pulling the pin."
Meanwhile a spirited performance last week saw the Mongrels move to a focussed attack through the middle supported by high quality passing and a number of 5 point service rotations.
Pussa was warned several times by the coaching staff and fellow players to restrict his underhanded handover tactics which have seen him penalised on several occassions throughout the season.
Team critics believe it stems from his recent involvement with the Over 40's Latvian Womens Handball team during a joint training camp in the Gold Coast Hinterland in March.
Mongrels players have been undertaking diligent volunteer work with worthy causes over the past few weeks, mainly to serve several community service orders from the local magistrate.
This has seen the creation of the Mongrels Mongrels Care Charity to take care of our canine friends and their families in times of need. Our hearts and thoughts go out to those at this time.
Team Management have commented that the rumours of the Mongrels Mongrels Care Charity being set up as a tax dodge to assist with salary cap pressures is "Total Bollocks!"
Tonights match at the 32,031 seat Grammar Dome has been sold out for three weeks but is available on pay-per-view.
Bonky
Canine Vetrinarian Philanthropist
Mongrels Mongrels Care Charity
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Back to back victories for Mongrels
The last two weeks has seen a dramatic turn around in the form of the mighty Mongrels with back to back victories cementing their 2nd place on the Championship table.
Backing up after a solid performance last week against the White Tigers in front of a capacity crowd of 28,000 at the Grammar Dome, the Mongrels arrived with a depleted line-up due to several players attending memorial services for the Pope. Luckily the crew were able to call upon the services of T (the super sub) but still had to persevere with the missing-man formation.
Strong middle attacking was the name of the game last night with T discovering that she does have timing, even after all these years. This was supported by intimidating blocking from Lisa and constant abuse hurled between the boys due to Bonky not quite understanding the rules of street handball.
The scores were locked together at half time due to some shady back-handed deals with the referee by the Mongrels opponents but things were back on the dominating track in the second half after officials heeded threats of physical violence.
The match was sealed with a flurry of jump serving from Lisa to assure Mongrels retain their 2nd place on the ladder.
A sponsors lunch is being organised at a price of $10,000 a plate to raise funds for the Mongrels end of year bash. Details will be released shortly.
Bonky
Event Co-ordinator
Mongrels Parties and Costume Hire
Backing up after a solid performance last week against the White Tigers in front of a capacity crowd of 28,000 at the Grammar Dome, the Mongrels arrived with a depleted line-up due to several players attending memorial services for the Pope. Luckily the crew were able to call upon the services of T (the super sub) but still had to persevere with the missing-man formation.
Strong middle attacking was the name of the game last night with T discovering that she does have timing, even after all these years. This was supported by intimidating blocking from Lisa and constant abuse hurled between the boys due to Bonky not quite understanding the rules of street handball.
The scores were locked together at half time due to some shady back-handed deals with the referee by the Mongrels opponents but things were back on the dominating track in the second half after officials heeded threats of physical violence.
The match was sealed with a flurry of jump serving from Lisa to assure Mongrels retain their 2nd place on the ladder.
A sponsors lunch is being organised at a price of $10,000 a plate to raise funds for the Mongrels end of year bash. Details will be released shortly.
Bonky
Event Co-ordinator
Mongrels Parties and Costume Hire
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Mongrels on Target for Silver
In a glorious display of equity, the Mongrels have shown their true form to pave the pathway to silver with a loss in a recent match against.
Resting one of the male athletes to allow for a 50-50 split of gender, the team showed glimpses of skill in a tight Premier League match.
The aggressive blocking of Franky intimidated early on only to be matched by the poise and delicate movements of Blatchy.
Bonky ended up flat on his back at one stage during a rally after dealing with a streaker but got back to his feet to nail a traditional high ball through the middle.
Mongrels broke with tradition going with a three pronged setting rotation that had their opponent's as well as fellow team members confused.
The 23,007 strong crowd provided vocal and support for the Mongrels average result and were also quite supportive in offering advise and comments on gender, origin and personal habits of players.
At the after match press conference back at the team caravan park cabin, Mongrels management stated that this was a key loss for the team in achieving their aim of taking out second place. "The path to silver is paved with average results" stated the clubs press secretary.
This week sees the Mongrels come up against AIS at 8:00 pm at the sold out Grammar Dome. The match will be shown on delayed telecast in the southern states due to the Commonwealth Picnic Races being held in Melbourne.
Bonky
Chief de Mission
Mongrels Commonwealth Games Team
Resting one of the male athletes to allow for a 50-50 split of gender, the team showed glimpses of skill in a tight Premier League match.
The aggressive blocking of Franky intimidated early on only to be matched by the poise and delicate movements of Blatchy.
Bonky ended up flat on his back at one stage during a rally after dealing with a streaker but got back to his feet to nail a traditional high ball through the middle.
Mongrels broke with tradition going with a three pronged setting rotation that had their opponent's as well as fellow team members confused.
The 23,007 strong crowd provided vocal and support for the Mongrels average result and were also quite supportive in offering advise and comments on gender, origin and personal habits of players.
At the after match press conference back at the team caravan park cabin, Mongrels management stated that this was a key loss for the team in achieving their aim of taking out second place. "The path to silver is paved with average results" stated the clubs press secretary.
This week sees the Mongrels come up against AIS at 8:00 pm at the sold out Grammar Dome. The match will be shown on delayed telecast in the southern states due to the Commonwealth Picnic Races being held in Melbourne.
Bonky
Chief de Mission
Mongrels Commonwealth Games Team
Monday, March 06, 2006
Trouble at Mill
Mixed results over the past few weeks have seen the Mongrels looking for other sports with which to dominate.
Round 5 saw the no show of Mongrels opponents due to a mass kidnapping of players for the Xqsazm Club.
ASIO are still investigating the incident and it is rumored that some Mongrels Supporters are assisting with the investigation and being held in custody in a special Palm Island facility without charge in an attempt to guarantee public safety.
Promoters were able to pull together an 'All Stars' Team who finished ahead of the Mongrels on the buzzer.
Mongrels management said they could not understand the sudden form slump in the final moments of the match. They are investigating rumors of match fixing and are trying desperately to track down who the leak is so they can be paid off.
Round 6 saw a cross over round with the Aces reserve grade team giving the Mongrels a chance to experiment with the same rotation and play at the same average level.
After the game, Mongrels team members were approached by representatives from the QLD Handball League to gain support for a hybrid Handball/Rollerball/Gridiron/Rock'n'Roll Wrestling Cage Match to raise funds for the Mongrels Orphan Support Network. Negotiations are still taking place.
This weeks Round 7 match will see the Mongrels approach Borderline Insanity in the Grammar Dome at 6:30. Tickets are selling fast.
Bonky
Acting Part-Time Administrative Supporting Assistant Intern
Mongrels Mass Media Marketing Inc.
Round 5 saw the no show of Mongrels opponents due to a mass kidnapping of players for the Xqsazm Club.
ASIO are still investigating the incident and it is rumored that some Mongrels Supporters are assisting with the investigation and being held in custody in a special Palm Island facility without charge in an attempt to guarantee public safety.
Promoters were able to pull together an 'All Stars' Team who finished ahead of the Mongrels on the buzzer.
Mongrels management said they could not understand the sudden form slump in the final moments of the match. They are investigating rumors of match fixing and are trying desperately to track down who the leak is so they can be paid off.
Round 6 saw a cross over round with the Aces reserve grade team giving the Mongrels a chance to experiment with the same rotation and play at the same average level.
After the game, Mongrels team members were approached by representatives from the QLD Handball League to gain support for a hybrid Handball/Rollerball/Gridiron/Rock'n'Roll Wrestling Cage Match to raise funds for the Mongrels Orphan Support Network. Negotiations are still taking place.
This weeks Round 7 match will see the Mongrels approach Borderline Insanity in the Grammar Dome at 6:30. Tickets are selling fast.
Bonky
Acting Part-Time Administrative Supporting Assistant Intern
Mongrels Mass Media Marketing Inc.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Another victory. When will it end.
Last night saw a perfect display of average Volleyball by the highly runner-up rated Mongrels Team in front of a 16,000 strong crowd at the Grammar Dome.
This time running with a split Franky/Blatchy rotation, the Mongrels again outshone themselves with blinding areas of mediocrity and averagism.
This level of play was broken up inconsistently by flashes of total arse with the demonstration the Mogrels power tipping and quick attacking capability which has obviously been borrowed from someone else.
Again some strong serving (getting it over the net) was displayed along with the occasional blocking success (short net) which led to a demoralising victory over the AIS.
Thanks were given by Mongrels management at the after match press conference to the Mongrels Supporters for their exemplary behaviour with only 17 people being arrested and only one streaker for the match. The police and security forces were also thanked for their enthusiasm and ferocity in disarming and detaining likely terrorist suspects.
The rotation policy of the Mongrels coaching staff sees half of the team being rested next week so team recruitment has been taking place to try and make up the numbers.
Next week sees the Mongrels taking on the Sand at 8:00pm on Court 1.
Bonky
Special Agent
Mongrels Security Force
This time running with a split Franky/Blatchy rotation, the Mongrels again outshone themselves with blinding areas of mediocrity and averagism.
This level of play was broken up inconsistently by flashes of total arse with the demonstration the Mogrels power tipping and quick attacking capability which has obviously been borrowed from someone else.
Again some strong serving (getting it over the net) was displayed along with the occasional blocking success (short net) which led to a demoralising victory over the AIS.
Thanks were given by Mongrels management at the after match press conference to the Mongrels Supporters for their exemplary behaviour with only 17 people being arrested and only one streaker for the match. The police and security forces were also thanked for their enthusiasm and ferocity in disarming and detaining likely terrorist suspects.
The rotation policy of the Mongrels coaching staff sees half of the team being rested next week so team recruitment has been taking place to try and make up the numbers.
Next week sees the Mongrels taking on the Sand at 8:00pm on Court 1.
Bonky
Special Agent
Mongrels Security Force
Mongrels Time
======================================
### STOP PRESS ### STOP PRESS ### STOP PRESS ###
======================================
In an attempt to mislead terrorists and extremists groups from
planning activities related to the Mongrels match this evening,
the Spiker Sports League General Manager is only issuing this
message to a chosen few.
Listen very carefully. I shall say this only once.
Tonight's match will be at 7:15pm - Court 2 - Grammar Dome.
I repeat 7:15pm - Court 2 - Grammar Dome.
The reason for this secrecy relates to an incident earlier this
month on Bondi Beach where it is alleged several Mongrels
players said something defamatory about an unattractive young
lady who was trying too hard to get her breasts autographed.
It happens that the young lady has a large family of big burly
brothers who took offence and demanded that one of the players
must marry the girl to restore their families honour.
It is further alleged that the players then commented on the odds
of this occurring and then informed the big burly brothers where
they could place several parts of their anatomy.
It has been discovered that the burly brothers belong to several
anti-Mongrels militant groups and have been posting slurs on
the Mongrel integrity across several extremist websites.
The Mongrels have only responded by stating they have no
integrity to slur so therefore the burly brothers actions are
meaningless.
Several members of the family have been sighted in Brisbane and
security will be on high alert in order to guarantee the safety of
the mighty Mongrels for tonight's game.
It has been suggested that decoy players may be used as stunt
doubles.
Bonky
Guru Swami Dali Lama Chief Headkicker
Mongrels Inc.
### STOP PRESS ### STOP PRESS ### STOP PRESS ###
======================================
In an attempt to mislead terrorists and extremists groups from
planning activities related to the Mongrels match this evening,
the Spiker Sports League General Manager is only issuing this
message to a chosen few.
Listen very carefully. I shall say this only once.
Tonight's match will be at 7:15pm - Court 2 - Grammar Dome.
I repeat 7:15pm - Court 2 - Grammar Dome.
The reason for this secrecy relates to an incident earlier this
month on Bondi Beach where it is alleged several Mongrels
players said something defamatory about an unattractive young
lady who was trying too hard to get her breasts autographed.
It happens that the young lady has a large family of big burly
brothers who took offence and demanded that one of the players
must marry the girl to restore their families honour.
It is further alleged that the players then commented on the odds
of this occurring and then informed the big burly brothers where
they could place several parts of their anatomy.
It has been discovered that the burly brothers belong to several
anti-Mongrels militant groups and have been posting slurs on
the Mongrel integrity across several extremist websites.
The Mongrels have only responded by stating they have no
integrity to slur so therefore the burly brothers actions are
meaningless.
Several members of the family have been sighted in Brisbane and
security will be on high alert in order to guarantee the safety of
the mighty Mongrels for tonight's game.
It has been suggested that decoy players may be used as stunt
doubles.
Bonky
Guru Swami Dali Lama Chief Headkicker
Mongrels Inc.
Mongrels Looking to Back Up
The mighty Mongrels are looking to replicate their blistering
form of last weeks season opening double header in round
2 at the Grammar Dome tomorrow night.
The recovery from a number of career ending injuries sustained
in last weeks battles has been swift and miraculous with
questions arising over the Wide Bay square bottle 'medicine'
being consumed by the Mongrels in their off court training this
week.
Last weeks display of vintage Volleyball brought forward the usual
raucous cheering from the 12,000 strong crowd as well as choice
words from players.
The Mongrels played through some rotational issues with an
evolving game that switched from a front court setter, to a
backcourt setter to a complicated 3 person back court setting
matrix that amazed fans and players alike.
Strong serving saw the Mongrels gain a points advantage in both
matches whilst most players were still asking for more from their
opponents.
A new novelty of stretching and warming up has been suggested for
preparing for this weeks match but team management are afraid
that this may just scare off opponents.
However the Highway Patrol has reached an agreement with one
of the players that the stereo in their vehicle will only be switched
on during daylight hours where the fluorescent laser show will not
cause blindness to the elderly and infirm.
Competition organisers are still keeping the match time for
tomorrow nights Mongrels match under raps to try and curb the
mayhem of the Mongrels fans both pre and post match.
Reminder: Due to the fans causing disruption to the Mongrels getting
on the team bus to leave last weeks event, the coach will now be
securely parked at the rear of the building. The Bus company has
said they will cover the damage bill because "...we really love you guys.".
Bonky
Chief Guru Executive Consulting Head Honcho
Mongrel Mongrel Mongrel & Associates
form of last weeks season opening double header in round
2 at the Grammar Dome tomorrow night.
The recovery from a number of career ending injuries sustained
in last weeks battles has been swift and miraculous with
questions arising over the Wide Bay square bottle 'medicine'
being consumed by the Mongrels in their off court training this
week.
Last weeks display of vintage Volleyball brought forward the usual
raucous cheering from the 12,000 strong crowd as well as choice
words from players.
The Mongrels played through some rotational issues with an
evolving game that switched from a front court setter, to a
backcourt setter to a complicated 3 person back court setting
matrix that amazed fans and players alike.
Strong serving saw the Mongrels gain a points advantage in both
matches whilst most players were still asking for more from their
opponents.
A new novelty of stretching and warming up has been suggested for
preparing for this weeks match but team management are afraid
that this may just scare off opponents.
However the Highway Patrol has reached an agreement with one
of the players that the stereo in their vehicle will only be switched
on during daylight hours where the fluorescent laser show will not
cause blindness to the elderly and infirm.
Competition organisers are still keeping the match time for
tomorrow nights Mongrels match under raps to try and curb the
mayhem of the Mongrels fans both pre and post match.
Reminder: Due to the fans causing disruption to the Mongrels getting
on the team bus to leave last weeks event, the coach will now be
securely parked at the rear of the building. The Bus company has
said they will cover the damage bill because "...we really love you guys.".
Bonky
Chief Guru Executive Consulting Head Honcho
Mongrel Mongrel Mongrel & Associates
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Welcome to the World of Mongrels
I would just like to say this up front. The Mongrels play reasonably hard but trash talk even harder.
No longer satisfied with abusing our fellow team mates in person, we have now evolved into to doing this in a virtual environment where a permanent record can be kept and referred to in generations to come.
So my fellow Mongrels.
BLOG ON!!
Bonky
No longer satisfied with abusing our fellow team mates in person, we have now evolved into to doing this in a virtual environment where a permanent record can be kept and referred to in generations to come.
So my fellow Mongrels.
BLOG ON!!
Bonky
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
